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Posted on October 18, 2010 under Bangalore, Rants.

It was 7:00 am and my alarm rang dutifully with its high pitched whine. I promptly hit the snooze button and went off to sleep. About 5 minutes later the phone rang, cutting through the deep abyss of sleep.

Lady on phone (in Kannada): Manju? (Or something thereabouts)
Me: Sorry, Wrong Number

Five minutes later:

Man on phone (in Kannada): Manju?
Me: (by now, wondering who this Manju is) Nope, Wrong Number.

Another five minutes later:

Lady again: Some rapid fire Kannada sentences and then Manju?
Me: (in silent desperation, rueing the lost sleep) Sorry, This is the wrong number. Please don’t call again.

After this, it seemed like some the callers had given up trying to contact Manju and I thought that was the end of it and I’d get to sleep peacefully again. But I think I was being too hopeful for about 10 minutes later the phone rang again:

Lady: Manju?
Me: For the 10th time, this is the wrong number!!!
Lady: (Finally guessing, I don’t understand a word of Kannada) *Something something* English *Something*
Passes phone to man. I am hopeful that he will understand English. But…
Man (now on phone): Manju??
Me: (Inwardly regretting for not putting the phone on silent mode) Wrong Number, Sir.

Five minutes later, sure enough the phone rings again. I am now at my wits end on how to get rid of this caller.

Lady: Manju?
Me: (Let’s try broken Kannada, maybe it will work) Sorry, I don’t speak Kannada and this is wrong number (or near enough in Kannada)
Lady: Oh so you are not Manju? So then who are you? (in Kannada)
Me: (FacePalm) Disconnect phone

Finally after much pain, they got the message that I am not Manju and the calls stopped, though not before they ruined a perfect Monday morning of blissful sleep. I think the next time I need a wakeup call I’ll ask this duo to wake me up.

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    October 18, 2010, 1:12 pm